Platonia

Boy! My friend. Kind of too beautiful to look at straight on. Dancing at the party then in my bed for the quick 2am to 8am snooze. His armpits smell. His messiness is so much the same as his beauty. 

We’ve been sharing beds for 12 years and sometimes we are spoons with legs intertwined. Sometimes even really holding and petting and talking all night like lovers who were taught that sex is with clothes on and just small touches. Sometimes in college he’d pick me up like a toy and other times we’d sit and talk so seriously. The arc!

One time we could’ve shared a bed and done our cuddles but I opted for guest room so I could sleep better but couldn’t decide if it was silly to sacrifice our nighttime sweetness. He said “we don’t always have to do the same thing every time.” 

He pees while I brush my teeth and I make sure not to see his nakedness* and I see him see my bralessness** in my big shirt and we fall asleep with little pretense, mouth guard in, but I wake up quickly on and off and as soon as I turn away from him he holds me in his spoon. My pants are so soft and I slip my ankle between his. Our arms aren’t together we are like the eagles who spiral with talons interlocked and wings on the wind. 

*his actual body is real with flaky scalp and eczema and seeing him naked would be scary, I think. But a friend’s body is a neutral thing!  

He turns away and eventually I turn toward and big spoon him, arm over ribs pretending to be thoughtless sleep moving. We do this dance till sleep is actual. In the morning I get up and get dressed for my appointment and he sleeps until I climb back into bed and he smiles and opens his arms and blanket cave to my little burrow and we lay so together and I point over his shoulder at a spider on the wall but he doesn’t turn to look he just holds my arm to him and I hold his head at the base of his neck while we talk face to face with eyes only a bit open. 

We get up and I pour us cereal and we eat until I go. I’m lit up and thinking of him all morning. 

** i do admit that if we had a non infidelity moment to be naked together it would make sense to me to have him hold my boobs and for me to face his pelvis. As part of the friendship arc. As a science experiment in bodies, genderless and afraid.