today in nonnie’s honor
i pay bills from bed
oil up my hands
wear my flammable bathrobe
all afternoon
one breast covered the other not
maybe i will unearth
her yellow black mold notebook
the one i put in the freezer
for 3 months
trying to make it touchable
so i could read what she wrote
about sad gratifying sex
with a nameless man
somewhere with a balcony
today in nonnie's honor
i tell the mirror
it could be worse
cut my fingernails
make rice with lots of butter
and eat it
standing up
