Friday, January 24, 2025

i keep putting these off
the ocean is huge
my dad makes a fire and eats all the olives 
ICE is at the madrona grocery outlet 
and stalking johnny’s kitchen in belltown 
some days you can really feel all the metal 
that makes up these fortresses 
woozy timbre of a silver crown cos-playing my tooth
haven't we learned yet you can't just 
take pieces of the body out unnoticed  
lyft driver tells me there is
no replacement for the support of the family 
i asked about SSRIs, it was a long drive
the West is only good at some things, like surgery
intersections jammed with too many hungry guys 
to buy burgers for -- i did when there were less of them
sometimes the metal feeling turns to water
and streams our from my eyes
gentle dentist shoots anesthetic trembles
through the locked up tissues 
that means we’re near to the nerve
and that’s what we’re going for
out of place pain but intellectually
his hands feel right in my mouth
i don’t speak anyone’s language here 
but i put my mouth in their hands 
trusting they wish no harm
do you need a break?
is there anything more kind? 
leaning back think of all the people 
the tooth has known
everything the tooth piece that is leaving remembers
that the rest of me won't
i pay this place to be straight with me
they have hurt me before but i know 
they didn't want to
i pay them to be honest
but know they have to lie
like i pay people to let me be honest
then lie in their sanctioned secret chambers
like laziness, i get it
lamps and sleep, still worrying about 
what we miss when we do that
and who do we think we are
thinking we deserve both what we have
and what we are missing
i keep putting that off
the ocean is huge


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