procedure

pocket to pocket, 
always preparing for
limited parcels of time,
enclosed moments
of places, people. 
and when we
ourselves are threadbare -
feelings, reactions. 
flanked, measured.
careful packaging. 
occasionally decorative.
i think i got good at it.
you get better at what
you practice.
but all these rituals,
grown into unknowingly
and aged by accident,
these habits of self-preservation,
their own containments - 
what do i do with them now,
when i want the open field?