Delivery Window

My oven starting making insane noises out of nowhere

I told the coop board

They immediately unplugged it, disconnected the gas

A week later a delivery date was scheduled for a new oven 

I had to reschedule a scout for a shoot

I could have asked someone to be in my apartment

But I’m weird about people being in my space when I’m not there

I know when I die, someone will need to be in here

Even though I won’t care when I’m dead

I care now, so I’ve been meaning to death clean my living space

This means I need to get rid of everything embarrassing

But I’m not exactly sure what it is that I don’t want people to find

I don’t even have any freak shit, like a sex swing 

It’s weird to me when I go home with someone I barely know

They leave me sleeping while they go to work

Like they trust me not to spy or steal or try on their baseball uniform

Or maybe they don’t care 

I once lent a man a book and when he gave it back to me 

He commented on things I underlined and notated

I was so embarrassed that I pretended as though 

Someone else may have written those things in the margins

Even though it was obviously my penmanship

Watching him watch me get flustered and lie 

Was even more embarrassing 

Now when I lend people books, I flip through first

To confirm there’s no trace of my existence

And there’s no fucking way 

I’m letting anyone in here for the oven delivery window