blah

my friend said we happened because we're opposites
and we un-happened because we're opposites too

YES THANKS I'M AWARE

on halloween we watched Twister and then Twisters (both good)
i was trying to tell you about how Helen Hunt in a tank top made me gay
and you were trying to tell me that we were just like a tornado
like the sorcery that happens when hot finds cold under the perfectly right/wrong conditions
then spins spins spins all the cows and barn bits around til they're nothing but detritus

and once again, i felt like yes ok I'M VERY AWARE of what we are

so exquisite and unstable

i just thought we didn't say that shit out loud

so then you laughed and i cried and any onlooking god-type character who might play voyeur on our little lives was groaning, ughhhhhhhh seriously? this again?

anyway

it's over

we ended it

no need to groan anymore

and all those nice ideas i had about the storm aftermath calm stuff aren't so
like, i'm not born anew under open skies
or sliced open so good that new life poured out
there was no rescue or reward

it's just quiet

monotonous as fuck, really
back to dishes dishes emails laundry dishes emails

and cosplaying as someone who wants a peaceful life
and judging everyone who shares in CODA meetings
and sleep that doesn't ever last long enough