846

 mostly i remember 

the colonial brick color of my loft bed

awkwardly juxtaposed with a caribbean blue

it was a cocoon-like year 
a blank time out of necessity 
i cooked thin cheap steaks 
in non-stick pans
broke up and got back together 

with a boring boyfriend
and of course stood in front
of what felt to me like
various packs of wolves 
for seven hours a day
spent and numb by the end
it was a missed opportunity 
of sorts
to come back together 
to have a drifting time 
the future laid bare
but
being scared of open spaces 
i’d signed my waking hours away
to something much beyond my scope
a pity i wasn’t more in the slow lane
a shame i didn’t take on more 
kitten feeding duties